Long time, no blog. Well, there are a few reasons for that:

  1. Lazy. Lazy lazy lazy.
  2. I’m writing some other things, and fiction takes a completely different type of emotional energy.
  3. I also have a pretty complex screening system for subjects that I will write about, and no ideas have really made it through that screening system recently. A lot of stuff hits the screen and bounces off, though.


So, here we are. I had a thought today that made it through the screen – it’s a short one, but I thought it was worth sharing:

There are mindsets and there are lenses.  

A mindset, in my view, is more like an ideology, a set of beliefs that guides how we navigate our lives. But what I want to talk about are our lenses:

I think of a lens as a stage in life that informs how we interpret the world, not necessarily how we act upon it.

Example: As a student, I interpreted the world through the “student” lens. This lens dictated my concerns, my goals, my schedule, and my peer group. I viewed the world as a student would: the endless possibilities, optimism, and excitement.

There are married lenses, single lenses, parent lenses, grandparent lenses, sibling lenses, grief lenses, and even subsets of these lenses.

  1. New wife lens
  2. New husband lens
  3. New parent lens
  4. Parent for the third time lens (quite different, so I hear)
  5. Early 20s single lens
  6. High school student lens
  7. New employee lens
  8. Retiree lens

You get the idea. So why am I writing this?

It’s just something we need to be mindful of as we interact. I certainly need to remember this. Let’s not be dismissive – granted, we will probably fail now and then. But let’s try.

For example…

Married people: We need to not be dismissive of the single lens. Which means that we don’t treat it like a cancer that maybe people will be someday delivered from. Single people are doing just fine.

Single people: Married people sometimes know stuff, too. Don’t get disgusted with us just because we are sometimes incredibly annoying. Okay, go ahead and get disgusted, but don’t throw things. Please.

Parents: Not everybody loves children. That’s okay. Some people may choose to never have any. That’s also okay.

People who aren’t parents: Kids are cool. Chill. They won’t ruin your life. In fact, they can immeasurably enrich it.

And so on.
And remember, a lens isn’t a mindset. It’s a period in time, a fact, and sometimes, they overlap. Sometimes, they last for the duration of a person’s life – after all, a parent never stops being a parent.  

Just some food for thought.

What are your lenses right now?


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