Into the light

Something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.

Regarding the process of redemption. Of getting out of sin and addiction. The hardest part of it all is to start stopping.

Because what keeps people in sin is often shame. Loneliness. The illusion that if anyone knew what you were doing, what you were thinking, they’d hate you for it as much as you hate yourself.

So we keep doing it.

And we keep feeling horrible.

And we can’t tell anyone.

Because nobody else does this. Nobody else thinks this. Nobody else is as isolated as we are.

And yes, I am talking about porn. It’s time to start talking about it.

So, to break things down:

  1. We’re doing something wrong.
  2. We’re too ashamed to talk about it.
  3. We think we’re alone.
  4. So we keep doing it. Because there’s no way out.

But the idea that you’re alone is entirely a lie. Because lots of people are trapped in this cycle of shame and addiction. So, so many. In church and out.

You have so much company, and a community of people who have broken this addiction and are ready and waiting to receive you, to help you out of it.

Here’s some truth: this thing, this secret thing that so few churches have talked about up until recently, it can’t survive the light. It needs shame and secrecy to thrive. But once you ask God for forgiveness and help – he’ll flood those dark places with light. He is dying to pour his mercy out on you. How it hurts him when you hurt yourself. And he is waiting, just waiting for you to say the word.

Because he knows that sin brought into the light cannot survive.

It won’t die down all at once, the need, the desire of this addiction. But telling someone you trust is the beginning.

You have so much company. So much support waiting to be given.

From friends who may have the same struggle. From the spouse or significant other who loves you.

You are not, I repeat, not alone.

You are not dirty.

You are not beyond repair.

Christ can fix anything. Christ can make all things new.

Tell somebody: start stopping today.

Today is your day.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Into the light

  1. Any deed done in a position of secretive shame from anybody is a breech of personal integrity, I agree with you on that mark. But I think you are off the mark in the sense that not all pornographiles endure a shrouded shame. If you or anyone else would like to inquire further I am open to discussing the matter.

    • I realized that it may not be readily apparent. I am Ben’s friend, Dustin.

      • Hi Dustin! I did know it was you, and thanks for reading. 🙂

        What I wanted to do with this post was to come out and say that if you want to get out, you can. This is something that has hurt too many people I love, it was a subject I just couldn’t leave alone anymore.

        I realize that nothing I write here can encompass everyone. Every statement you make about any group of people has its exceptions. Some people see nothing wrong with pornography. Which makes me sad, but my goal here was not to prove that it’s wrong.

        I just would love for it to become an open topic among Christians in particular. We don’t talk about it much, but lately, that trend has been changing, which is such a great thing.

        Thanks for joining the conversation.

  2. Thanks for writing about this! I think it is something that finally needs to be addressed in the Church, since so many people (men, woman, and boys and girls) are trapped in this cycle, and one of the best ways to help people get out is to start talking about it.

  3. Rich Eoff

    Thx for posting this. I, myself, have struggled for many years with pornography. It has been an Achilles heel in my life. Knowing my wife’s position on this addiction and the churches view, I lived with shame, self loathing, fear of connecting with people and hopelessness, Although it is still a daily struggle I have learned not to beat myself up.

    One of the things I’ve learned is that it’s not just about viewing women or men nude. Pornography can also be viewing Imagery that provokes a lustful thought. It’s kind of the gateway drug LOL.

    When my wife expressed to me that my porn addiction made her feel like I was cheating on her, it took me a bit to figure out what she meant. I’ve never cheated on her, and if I had the guilt would kill me. I thought about it for quite a long time before I realized that although I wasn’t cheating physically, emotionally I was. I understood finally what I was doing to my relationship with my wife. Since then I’ve given it to God. Does that mean I’m cured, No. But it does mean I’ve started quitting. 🙂

    I’m not a very good writer so I hope this makes sense.

    Rich

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